Emergency Surprisingly Negated

I entered the room.  One hundred people were before me – in the midst of celebrating the 60^th birthdays of twins Heather and Malcolm. The place was buzzing. No one noticed me enter from a side door by the bar. Trish had entered a minute before, also unnoticed and made her way to the back of the beautiful Pacific Harbour Golf Course room, where she turned on the speak of our public address. Standing at the front I looked into the crowd. There was conversation , laughter. I began speaking. “Excuse me ladies and gentleman – a bit of an emergency.” The crowd suddenly hushed and faces turned towards me, expectant. I looked at the white piece of paper in my palm. “Does anyone own car registration number 712 LIE?” I waited and asked again. People looked confused. “Oh sorry that’s my car!” Laughter filled the room – they must be thinking “who’s this idiot!”

“What are you here for?” I asked.

“A birthday!” someone shouted.

“There must be a double booking!” I said. “My name is Peter Waterman, I’m a celebrant and I’m here for a wedding. Please stand for the entrance of the bride”.

There was great excitement as everyone stood (they must have believed me). Greg, the musician hit the music button and Heather (the birthday girl who ten minutes beforehand slipped out to change) entered and joined partner John at the front of the room for the commencement of the wedding.

I ask the assembled crowd. “All those in favour of Heather and John being married today say “It’s about time.”

The room echoed loudly with “It’s about time!” After 27 years together two beautiful people were about to become husband and wife.

Candle Ceremonies at Weddings; Shining Brighter Together

Candles are symbols of light; of hope; of positive energy. At weddings couples will have their own individual candles; often their parents will light them and hand them to their son and daughter. The bride and groom will then light their family candle as a symbol of them coming together; they each have their own individual gifts and talents but shine even brighter with the presence of the other. Usually couples will have the candles engraved and is something they can keep to remind them of their wedding.

Diary of a Wedding

Diary of a Wedding (Thursday 10^th October 2013)

5am  - alarm sounds loudly (too loudly). Stay in bed for awhile

6am – final check through if have all wedding paperwork (NOIM, Certificate of marriage details x 2, Wedding Certificate, Application for Registered Certificate, Addressed Envelope for Victorian BD& M). All good

6-15 Head to Alpha car park with Trish  (near airport)

7am Arrive at airport – check in. Find flight is delayed. Realise daylight saving in Melbourne – original time of arrival 11.30am. Hopefully not too late as need to get to Kew for 4pm wedding.

8.30am Plane takes off (only 30 mins late). Arrive Melbourne at 12. Pouring with rain – and cold! (what a surprise)

12.30pm ring car hire to collect us – wait 20 minutes no bus arrived. Rang again – they forgot to send bus!

1.30pm leave Melbourne Airport in Nissan Micra hire car. Use Samsung phone to get directions to Beaumont Quest in Kew. It surely is a smart phone as guided us there seamlessly; arriving 2.15pm. Head up Kew High St (very cosmopolitan)find place for quick lunch, back to change.

 

3pm – head to Butleigh Wotton for wedding. Big old mansion used as wedding centre. Catherine warmly welcomed us offered us tea, showed us wedding spot – permanent marquee, paved, with fountains, beautifully decorated white chairs. Had a look around building – blazing fire in one of rooms that warmed myself by.

 

3.30pm found out from Catherine that wedding was actually 5pm – Cindy and Brian must have thought that in all my correspondence and paperwork was putting 4pm as Brisbane time (which it was). Spoke to Cindy the day before and said I will be there at 3pm – see probably thought I was keen! Better to be early than late though.

4.30pm Greeted Brian (groom) – had a chat with him – looking very suave and relaxed by the fire. Spoke to Andrew (best man). Andrew also Cindy’s cousin as well as being Brian’s best friend and responsible for introducing them.

4.50pm Went upstairs to see Cindy (she had just arrived). Looking really beautiful. Told her that Brian was here – she was happy about that.

5pm Introduced myself to guests; asked them to gather, told them we were not going to start at present but wait for the bride which is traditional.

 

 

5.05 Wedding Ceremony commences. Beautiful ceremony; wonderful crowd (about 90) who were in good humour. Welcome included mentioning their values as a couple; Cindy also wanted me to outline how I had come to first met her (travelling back from Melbourne wedding on plane 4 years ago); gave few quotes about love and marriage (Thomas Aquinas, Grover etc). Recited their personal poem “Cindy and Brian – A Journey Together”. Monitum; their personal vows were very touching; they had a candle ceremony involving Cindy’s boys – Mitchell and Kyle; Pronounced them as husband and wife; signing; beautiful reading from Adrian; finishing off with introduction and recession. Trish took some good photos of wedding ceremony.

 

5.40 to 6.15 mingled chatting, took few photos. Found out from driver of Jaguar (wedding car) that September is NOT a busy month for weddings in Victoria – he reckons if you had a wedding all the guys would be down the back listening to the footy. Said farewell to Cindy and Brian – headed back to accommodation. Gathered all paperwork into envelope ready to post in morning

7pm Went up High St – Chinese takeaway – beautiful food devoured eagerly back at Quest.  Relaxed, felt tired but happy and reflected on what an engaging couple Cindy and Brian were; the wonderful, friendly people I had met that day, the sights I’d seen, how Melbourne is so different from Brisbane (not only in climate – it just has a different feel)  and how I truly have the best job in the world! And Trish and I are looking forward to next couple of days – an extended break in Melbourne and catching up with son Tom as Point Crib, where he is training in the RAAF.

 

A Savage and Deelighful Wedding

The wedding of Dee Keane and Nick Savage was special. Dee is a niece of my cousin Antoinette’s husband TJ - who are very good friends of ours from Claremorris in Ireland. Dee and Nick happened to move from London (where they lived as partners) to Brisbane and decided to marry.  Antoinette then kindly told her of her cousin (ie me)  -  a celebrant  located in Brisbane.  They contacted me and asked me to be their celebrant. Of course I was totally honoured. Their wedding was in the spectacular Intercontinental Sanctuary Cove Chapel  on December 22^nd 2011 (where I have a wedding again next week).Trish filmed  the wedding (which is now on my website). It was great for overseas relations who were unable to attend the wedding to view it via Vimeo. Dee and Nick have since become good friends and it is great catching up with them occasionally for breakfast. They are brilliant people who have happily made Brisbane their home. Amazingly also Dee is a cousin of Patrick Walton (Chelsea’s Number 1 supporter).  

Oz Wedding Stats

Average weddings per day 332
June least popular month (followed by July)
October most popular month (followed by March)
60% of weddings happen on a Saturday (usually between 3-4pm)
13% wedding happen on a Sunday
Most popular days of year to marry
- Valentines Day (by far)
- New Years Eve
- Easter Sunday
in recent memory biggest day for weddings was 2,454 weddings on 10/10/10
(I had 3 booked that day 9am, 11-30am, 4pm)

Thane - My First Ever Ceremony

It was December 15th 2007 and my first ever ceremony was for Thane, son of Anita and Neil, who had just turned 1(Thane that is). It was held at their property and about 15 of their family and friends attended. Below is the poem I wrote that day (if this was my first ceremony - perhaps my last will be Thane's wedding!

Thane

At this very hour a year ago

Watching the Ashes on hospital TV – you know

“well bowled Shane” the cry from McGrath

As Neil’s focus changed from cricket to cigar

Soon the soft sound of a new babe came

Parents bowled over by special bundle Thane

And through these months all have come to see

What a wonderful delight he has turned out to be

A happy observer, filled with the busyness of play

A social interactive whose smile just says “good day”

Older brother Riley – an artistic and literary delight

And middle son Blake whose sporting skills excite

Magic mother Nita – a vibrant raconteur, intelligent spirit grand

And proud father Neil’s wisdom and warmth continually expand

Stewart and Kim as Godparents privileged to be

With them happily in the wings he is in loved company

Now at this special place with folk who are so dear

We celebrate your coming – it’s been a brilliant year

As seasons pass and all come to know your name

May happiness forever have its origin in Thane

(by Peter Waterman)

Ring Warming

A ring warming ceremony is a nice way to involve everyone at the wedding and the idea behind it is quite inspiring. At the start of the ceremony I’d usually say “our bride and groom are going to exchange rings today as a sign of their love and commitment. We would like to pass the rings around; just hold them in your hand for a few seconds and wish them something that is good and beautiful for their marriage before passing them on to the next person. They ask that you don’t lose them.” This usually takes between 5-10 minutes and the rings always seem to be back at the front before the ring exchange happens.

My first daily quote (364 to go!)

My first daily quote (364 to go!): My first daily quote (364 to go!)

One in a Million Phone Call

Last year I received a phone call – the caller introduced herself as Cindy saying “this is a one in a million chance but three years ago I was travelling on a plane from Melbourne to Brisbane and I was sitting next to a celebrant and wondered if it was you?” Sure enough it was! At the time I had just conducted a wedding for a couple at the Botanic Gardens in Melbourne and was returning to Brisbane. Cindy happened to be returning to Brisbane after visiting her boyfriend Brian in Melbourne. Once it was established I was the person in question she exclaimed that she was now engaged and wanted me to be the celebrant at their wedding. She never knew my name but somehow found me online  and thought I looked familiar in my website photo. How special is that!

Cindy and Brian now live happily together in Brisbane and were to be getting married on the 10^th of the 10^th this year in the Glass House Mountains but the wedding will now be in Melbourne (on the same date) and they are still wanting me to attend and be their celebrant! Cindy kindly said that I was part of their story. It is indeed ironic that their wedding will be in Melbourne; I’m very much looking forward to it – I’m sure it will be a one in a million wedding as Cindy and Brian are both such engaging, warm, down to earth and fun loving people. Their story is a great one and I look forward to posting a photo of their wedding on my blog site later in the year. They have also invited Trish to attend but I guess on the flight back this time I won’t be sitting next to a prospective bride – I’ll have my very own as company!

10 Things I Love About Weddings

1.       Meeting a new couple for the first time and finding out their story.

2.       Talking over ideas for a couple’s wedding – running through my wedding pack.

3.       Discussing and drafting the ceremony with a couple at the second meeting.

4.       Asking a couple questions in order to write a personal poem of their journey together. By doing this I feel that I really “get to know” a couple. I am amazed and humbled at the openness of couples in sharing their journeys with me.

5.       Writing the ceremony or receiving written ideas from the couple, particularly the couple’s vows. While the basic structure is often the same, each ceremony is different and each couple usually include something unique in their ceremony.

6.       Meeting a couple in the week before the wedding – they are filled with excitement and it is enjoyable to run through the ceremony with them and ensure they are comfortable with it.

7.       Arriving at the ceremony – greeting the groom and enjoying the space while setting up. Weddings are always in magnificent settings and I get to see them all while working in them!  Greeting the bride on her arrival is always special.

8.       Performing the ceremony - this is the most enjoyable part.  The hard work has been done and everyone can enjoy and celebrate the occasion. I like to use a bit of humour to help set a relaxed mood.

9.       Pronouncing a couple as “husband and wife”.  There is always a warm and lovely feeling at this time.

10.   Taking in the congratulatory spirit at the end of the ceremony; farewelling the couple and their families; and always thinking “wow, I really do have the best job in the world!"

THE CHOCOLATE PROPOSAL

While travelling Sarah and Lucas called in to Koko Black Boutique Chocolate Shop in Melbourne. They happened to be Sarah’s favourite chocolates. Lucas had previously arranged with the owner to arrive on a certain day, wearing certain clothes and asking for a box of their chocolates. Lucas told Sarah that a friend of theirs had asked him to buy a box for them. They then proceeded on their journey, travelling the Great Ocean Road and they stopped for the night at Apollo Bay (Beacon’s Point) This was to be the romantic night Lucas had planned.  Even though Sarah was unwell he plugged on regardless!

He purchased a bottle of wine that cost over sixty dollars but Sarah was in no mood for drinking (so Lucas had to drink it). It was a cold night so Lucas lit a wood fire nearly smoking them out. Things were not going well! Then he asked Sarah if she would like a chocolate. Now this she could not refuse – especially her favourite Koko Black. He presented her with a box, she opened it only to find letters piped on the individual chocolates. She turned the box to read them – “Will you marry me?” they asked. There was a ring too – it was everything she ever wanted; she happily said yes (although not via chocolates) and Lucas happily polished off the wine.

Spunky and Pretty

 

This photo was taken by Lauren (thanks Lauren). Check out more of her photos www.facebook.com/LaurenBridePhotography

Weddings in your own home can be so much fun. Last Saturday 13^th October Sam and Brendan married in their backyard surrounded by near on 100 of their family and friends. The invitation said “spunky and pretty” and it certainly encouraged guests to come dressed in a vast array of colourful outfits. A highlight was the first row of guests, sitting in little chairs – their own children. Between them they have 7 children all aged 8 or under! Sam has 4 and Brendan 3. On one side were the 4 girls – Louelle, Hattie, Edie and Niah – all looking so very pretty in different coloured bright dresses and on the other the three boys – Archie, Edam and Darby in black waistcoats, black pants, white shirts and casual canvas shoes.

Sam and Brendan shared the most heartfelt of vows; certainly the best ever expressed formally in that garden; a couple of special people in their lives  shared reading (Paul Kelly’s lyrics – “Love is the Law” courtesy of Cindy and “An Irish Blessing” from Julie). The wedding was complemented by beautiful live music from friends Cal and Sharon.

 At weddings end there was a fun recession from the end of the back yard to the deck area during which time they were pelted with confetti, housed in brightly coloured cones. Fortunately no one tossed the whole cone. Seemingly for the next five years Brendan will be mowing confetti – each piece no doubt reminding him of that special day in October.

The yard was certainly decked out in that colourful theme (as the picture shows). What impressed me about the occasion is that everyone seemed to be so happy – there were many smiles and much laughter; indicative of how well Sam and Brendan were regarded by the guests.

Laughing at Someone's Hair Has Implications

Adam fancied Kyoko – they were colleagues studying together. One day Kyoko had a hair change – it was suddenly all frizzy. She walked into a room with many people  – Adam laughed; Kyoko was embarrassed – it seemed any hope of a relationship vanished for Adam. It was the end of the year and Kyoko returned to Japan.

When the next year arrived Adam felt he must apologise for laughing at Kyoko’s frizzy hair. He sent her an email with an apology for laughing saying he thought she was very beautiful. As a rider he said that if she “didn’t have a boyfriend, he’d like to be the one.” Happily she agreed and they came to know, respect and love each other over the years. There was however one occasion when Adam proposed on the top of Mt Cootha and Kyoko said “no.” Happily, after much prompting from Kyoko, Adam proposed again. He won some money in a cycle race, brought some flowers, came home and asked Kyoko to marry him. She was vacuuming at the time. On receiving his proposal she turned off the vacuum cleaner and began to cry. Luckily they were tears of joy.

Kyoko and Adam were married last Friday on the top of Mt Cootha. Guests came from Japan, throughout Queensland and some even from Brisbane to celebrate with them. Below is a Japanese poem that was shared on the day. I think it speaks beautifully of a very loving couple. One of the things that inspired me about them is that they do something special for each other every day.

Sublime

Two hands held tightly
Unconsciously welded together
Two lives now one
I am proud to walk with you
Overjoyed to share this world with you
My delight is abundant
My love sublime

Daichi Matsui

 

Linking Wedding Invitaions/Ceremony/Reception

Jess and Matt’s wedding was an interesting one. When they sent out the invitations they asked everyone when they responded to say “what are important qualities that make a great marriage.”

They collated everyone’s responses and gave me a spread sheet of peoples answers asking me to use a selection in my welcome. Later only in the ceremony, they held hands, some special words were said and a piece of ribbon draped over their hands. On the ribbon was written the most common responses that people gave to the question asked eg communication, trust, honest, friendship etc.

When the reception began and people were looking at a map of where they were sitting the tables were labelled with the major qualities mentioned eg some were assigned the communication table etc. This was truly a brilliant way to involve people and to link invitations/ceremony/reception.

 Below are the words that were used in the “ribbon ceremony.”

Celebrant Peter:

 These qualities, mentioned by all here, will no doubt be imbued in the marriage of Jess and Mark forever.

And

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness. 

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy. 

These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief racks your mind.  

These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.

These are the hands that will give you support and encourage you to chase your dreams. Together, everything you wish for can be realized

Today we bind these hands with this ribbon and tie a knot symbolising your connection to each other which will be coloured brightly forever

Laughter - That's What's On

One of the traits I see as a key indicator of their future success of a couple is the ability to laugh and have fun with each other. I must say also that I have rarely not seen this. To see couples laughing together, and sometimes at their own foibles makes you want to laugh to. One such couple were Lara and Brenton Watson who were married in the Broadway Chapel, Woolloongabba. They epitomised that spirit of fun, both have a great sense of humour and their wedding ceremony certainly captured that spirit; their vows emphasising the importance of fun in their relationship. Along with family and friendship the three F’s no doubt provide a foundation for their marriage. Here are their vows:

Brenton:              I wanna make you smile whenever you are sad

Carry you around when your arthritis is bad

I’ll get medicine when your tummy aches

Build you a fire when the heater breaks

I’ll give you my coat when you are cold

Even let you hold my remote control

So let me do the dishes in the kitchen sink

Put you to bed if you’ve had too much to drink

I will be the man who grows old with you

All I wanna do is grow old with you

Lara:                                      Brenton, eight years ago you captured my heart by being exactly who you are. The sweetest, most loving, compassionate, and funniest person I have ever known. You have been my best friend through the good and the bad. You have been the reason that I smile and you have given comfort beyond measure when I have cried. I’m not sure a lifetime is long enough to return all you have given to me, but I promise the rest of my days I’ll spend by your side: to laugh with you and cry with you, to believe in you and support you. Together we are better than we could ever hope to be alone, and today I give you my love, my trust, and my fidelity forever. You will ALWAYS be the best part of my day.

The family that laughs together, lasts together.

Ode to Billie Jean - Our Feline Queen

Billie Jean - our feline queen

sleeps contented - dappled sunlight bathing her amidst the rosella bushes

A ginger tiger, leaping so fine

Purring so proudly, cat friend of mine

Family with Trish since 12 weeks old

The outdoors and garden where she slept and she strode

The age of 19, not good for this cat

Fits, infections, eye popping out, losing all fat

A heart wrenching decision to curtail suffering

Putting her down life’s cruellest ending

The kindly cat clinic receptionist to a vacant room ushered us  through

Our watery tears hidden from public view

“is it time up for this little Lady?”asked dear Alison the vet

We nodded and stroked Billie Jean filled with regret

Billie had a tube inserted into the vein

Alison  placed our loved cat on Trish’s lap numbing the strain

Into the syringe the purple liquid like lava down the tube flows

Billie’s head drops  and sudden death shows

 “she’s gone” Alison caringly remarks after checking her heart

The silence of sadness speaks of no more

Purring, or dribbling, or patting  or leaping into laps

Wrapped in a sheet and placed in a Robins kitchens bag

We brought Billie home  and busied ourselves preparing her place

Burying her under the rosella bushes

Farewell  Billie Jean – our feline queen

sleep forever in your paradise

RIP 10^th May 2012

Couple and Both Sets of Parents Married on Same Day

Michelle and Joe were married two weeks ago (14th April) at Siromet winery. Amazingly Joe's parents( Kim and Petsie) were celebrating their 33rd wedding anniversary that day and Michelle's parents (Greg and Debbie) were celebrating their 28th anniversary. Michelle and Joe had not planned to get married on their parents' wedding anniversaries but when Siromet said they had 4 dates available for weddings in 2012 and one was April 14th how could they resist! The parents have vowed that in future they will not be doing baby sitting on their anniversary!

(Picture above shows from left Kim, Petsie, Joe, Michelle, Debbie and Greg with halos of sun beaming down; no doubt blessing this almighty of coincidences)

Trevor Sings His Vows

The wedding of Jane and Trevor happened in the beautiful front garden of Jane’s parents house at Burbank in Queensland. They live on a five acre property so there was room aplenty and, in fact, several different locations were discussed for the ceremony, including during the week some indoor options if it rained.

They decided not to share their vows with each other beforehand (many couples do). Trevor let me in on a secret – he was going to sing his vows – the only people who knew these were his groomsmen, myself and the guitarist/musician. So, when it came time for the vows I introduced Trevor to say his. To Janes absolute surprise, and probably everyone there, he began singing, accompanied by the guitarist. The words were meaningful but also funny. There was much laughter as Trevor continued singing. I must say he has an excellent voice and thoroughly entertained everyone. The surprising finale came with the singing of the last chorus; the groomsmen reached behind them and grabbed musical instruments, like maracas, shakers etc and enthusiastically joined in with Trevor; singing the playing. There was great applause after the song and Jane just had this beaming smile all over her face. She then said her vows and it started pouring with rain. I told everyone that we would vacate and resume the wedding out the back under cover and 10 minutes later they were able to exchange rings, do their compulsory vows and I was able to pronounce them husband and wife.

As a celebrant, Trevor is the only person that I have witnessed that has sung the vows but I think surprises and something different can make a ceremony special. (In the next blog I will talk about my wedding with Trish).

A Handfasting Ceremony

A handfasting ceremony can be quite beautiful. Originally used in the middle ages where couples would join hand and ribbons were placed over the hands, each representing a different aspect of their relationship. The ceremony can be adapted to meet the needs of couples and, over the years, I have had many versions.

Last Friday, February 10^th, Amanda and Nathan were married in the Broadway Chapel, a lovely, intimate chapel at Woolloongabba. They used 6 different coloured ribbons in total. The first, a green one, and representing family, was draped over by their daughter Chloe. Following were a purple one, representing friendship, red for passion, yellow indicating fun, white spoke of honesty and finally a blue one symbolising their dreams and goals together.

After the ribbon was tied together, as though these qualities were bound within their hands. It is something, no doubt, that will be a wonderful reminder of their wedding and those values they hold dear.

Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward's Wonderful Wedding Words

Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward were married in Las Vegas, Nevada on January 29, 1958. It was one of the most enduring Hollywood marriages, lasting until Paul’s death on September 26^th, 2008.

These beautiful words (written by Wilferd A Peterson in his essay “The Art of Marriage”) were used at their ceremony as part of their vows.

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens. A good marriage must be created.

In the ‘Art of Marriage’:

The little things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say 'I love you' at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years. It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives. It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family. It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel. It is not looking for perfection in each other. It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is finding room for the things of the spirit. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal. It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner. 

Many couples use these words as part of their ceremony – mostly as a reading. On one occasion a young man had memorised the words. I said to him after “I have heard that reading so many times before and that’s the best I’ve ever heard it recited.” He told me he had practiced it about 40 times. He delivered it in such a heartfelt manner and with such effective eye contact that I think everyone felt it was being delivered to them individually. What a wonderful gift that was to the couple. I’m sure all those at the wedding will remember that as a highlight of the ceremony.